Yesterday, I had my blood drawn for the glucose test. Since we live in Los Angeles, I drank the Gatorade flavored drink on the way (it takes about an hour in traffic) to get to the doctor’s office. Before the nurse drew my blood, the doctor wanted to check on the baby first. So, we made our way to a room and got settled. When the doctor arrived, he did his usual routine: “So, how are you doing today? Any questions for me? Looks like you are doing your glucose test today…” Then came the question we knew would eventually come, but I was totally caught of guard. “So, have you scheduled a hospital tour or pre-registered?”
I glance over at Albi, then back at the doctor and tell him, “We plan to do a home-birth.” Then, my doctor’s attitude changed instantly and he said, “Well, in that case I can’t see you anymore.”
V: “Oh, okay, you mean after the baby, right?”
Dr: “No, for the rest of the pregnancy.”
Dr: Have you found another doctor or midwife?”
V: “Yes, we have a midwife and she has a doctor for backup.”
Dr: “Okay, what’s the doctor’s name.”
V: “Um…I can’t remember his name right now.”
Dr: “Go ahead and lie down.”
He then proceeds to measure my bump, doesn’t say anything just nods. Then squirts that cold jelly stuff on my bump so he can listen to the baby’s heartbeat. He nods again and says, “Very good heartbeat.”
Dr: “Now, I’m not just going to kick you to the curb. But, you will need to find another doctor. And we will call you with your test results by Wednesday. Just so you know (looking at my husband) most women I’ve seen who planned to have home-births come to me.”
A: “Oh, really…how come? Were there complications?”
Dr: “oh no, it’s mainly for the pain.”
I was mostly quiet during the appointment, mainly because I felt that I was being scolded by my doctor. Instead of talking to me calmly and understanding my decision, he basically made me feel shunned for wanting to have a home-birth. And on top of that, try to instill fear that I would need him for the pain. Plus, I felt as if he couldn’t have gotten out of that room fast enough…
Albi knew something was bothering me right away. He reassured me that I shouldn’t be upset and to remember that this day was going to come. You are just a number to him…but, I didn’t think my doctor would treat me that way… I did cry for a bit because I’m hormonal of course.
Then, Albi asked, “Do you think if that doctor saw you on the street he would know you by your name?
A: “What about Claudia (my midwife)?”
V: “Yes, she would without a doubt know my name.”
So yes, I plan to have my baby in the comfort of my own home. A place that’s familiar to me, it’s a calming and loving environment. I’m not restricted as to how many people can be in the room, if I want to have the lights dimmed or if i prefer to squat to deliver my baby. I get to have choices, I get to have a say and I get to lay in my own bed with Liviana after she is born. I know I got this and my mind is stronger than I give it credit. Yes, there will be pain, but it’s pain that won’t last long, it will come in waves and I will breath through them with the help of my birth team. And I will remind my self that it’s all worth it, because with this pain comes a beautiful reward, Liviana.
For any expecting mamas who are located in Los Angeles and are looking for a midwife, I highly recommend Claudia and Johanna. You can click here for more information.